


i swear i thought i dreamed him

by immolationfox



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: (thanks maggie for letting me use that tag ily), Blasphemy but like. not swearing. like comparing ur bf to god, Driving, Fluff, Holding Hands, Implied Sexual Content, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mild heresy, POV Alternating, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pre-Relationship, Rain, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, Sexual Tension, Soft Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, chainsaw cameo, it writes itself, oh my god the sexual tension is unreal, soft....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22856155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immolationfox/pseuds/immolationfox
Summary: Adam Parrish, and two times he got in Ronan Lynch's car./Ronan Lynch, and two times he answered his phone.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 16
Kudos: 291





	i swear i thought i dreamed him

**Before.**

It was a dark and stormy night. Adam was painfully aware of the cliche of it, but his life was filled with horror and fantasy, so he thought he was entitled to the phrase. It wouldn't be so bad if he could sleep, but Cabeswater was rustling restlessly in his ear and all he could think about was the pile of homework and his three jobs and the fact that he couldn't fucking go to sleep.

He sat up, swinging his legs around so his sock clad feet hit the floor and regretted it immediately. The floor was freezing. Grumbling under his breath, he stood up, dragging his blanket over his shoulder and shuffled over to the light switch.

Nothing.

He'd forgotten the light bulb had blown.

_ Shit.  _

Adam sighed, scrubbed at his face with the heel of his palms. There was no use trying to go to sleep now, but he'd feel better about it if he could study.  _ Shit _ , he thought, and then for the hell of it,  _ fuck. _

He wondered if Gansey were awake. Ronan, maybe. Ronan, actually. He didn't want to talk, or listen to Gansey ramble about Glendower or ley lines. Adam leaned his forehead against the wall and closed his eyes. The nearest phone was the corded wall phone in the office. 

Adam was creeping down the stairwell before he could think about it too much. The office was kept locked, but Adam had nicked a spare from Ronan who had nicked it from who knows where (or why) and he kept forgetting to return it. Besides, he realized as he slipped inside, they replaced the missing one he currently had in his pocket. 

He dialed Ronan's number without thinking about it.

The line picked up, but no one said anything. Then there was rustling and a noise that sounded suspiciously like a corvid croaking. Adam squinted.

"Chainsaw?"

More rustling, this time of sheets and feathers and Ronan's incomprehensible grumbling and definite swearing. There was a thump and Ronan cursed creatively, again.

"Ronan?" Adam offered into the receiver.

"Hey. Yeah. Parrish." Ronan sounded casual. Casual enough that Adam could picture him easily sprawled half on the floor and half on the bed, trying to act like he hadn't fallen off the bed.

"Did you fall out of bed?" Adam asked, unable to stop a grin from curling at his mouth.

"Fuck you," Ronan said simply.

"Did I wake you?" Adam asked next, hesitantly.

"No," Ronan answered immediately. "I just-  _ fuck off _ \- not you, Parrish, the bird- someone turned my phone off silent. Surprised me."

Adam stayed silent. He did not say that he was more surprised with how quickly Ronan answered.

"So what's up, Parrish. I don't usually get calls from you in the middle of the night."

"Oh," Adam said. "I couldn't sleep." He wrapped the phone cord around his finger a few more times and stepped closer to the wall, as if he could get closer to the voice on the other end.

Ronan rustled around some more, swore at Chainsaw, and then his voice was clearer, as if he'd gotten closer to the phone, or turned it off speaker.

"Want to go for a drive?"

"Yes," Adam answered, much more eagerly than he meant. Ronan didn't seem to notice.

"Be there in five," he said, and hung up.

.

It was still raining when Ronan pulled into the parking lot of St. Agnes. Adam shuffled outside and up to the passenger door with his blanket draped over his head. Ronan rolled the window down.

"Are you just going to stand there or get in?"

Adam got in.

Inside the BMW, it was warm, toasty. Adam leaned his head back with a sigh. Warm, dry, the quiet rhythm of the bass, the rumble of the car engine. It was too quiet in the apartment. Maybe that was his problem. 

"You should get a noise machine," Ronan said as they pulled out of the parking lot and Adam started, looking over at him. Ronan was watching the road with more focus than he usually did. Either Ronan could read his mind, which is honestly not something Adam would overlook, or he was so tired, he was speaking without realizing it.

"Maybe if I save enough money," Adam offered. Ronan made a noncommittal noise as he stared at the road, and Adam had a feeling he was already planning something to dream for him. He reached to fiddle with the dials on the radio.

Ronan didn't stop him.

.

Adam didn’t know how much time passed. Ronan drove and drove, and Adam curled up in the passenger seat, blanket haphazard around his knees and shoulder, leaned against the window and watched the rain. It was late. It was early. There was no one on the road but the streetlights smeared across the wet asphalt, and Ronan and Adam in the BMW. Ronan pulled over. He put the car in park, and then reached over, hand settling on Adam’s shoulder, two fingers pressing into the exposed skin of his neck above his collar.

“Adam,” he said, and when Adam looked over at Ronan, Ronan was staring at him. Intense, ineffable, in l-

Adam swallowed.

“Go to sleep,” Ronan said, squeezing his shoulder. Adam swallowed again. Nodded. Reached the lean the seat back all the way, then curled up. The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was Ronan in the drivers seat, illuminated orange and yellow, and looking like a dream. 

.

Adam woke with a start, thrashing around before he remembered where he was. Ronan’s car, Ronan - Ronan was squeezing his shoulder again.

“Hey,” he said, casual. Adam sat up quickly.

“What time is it, what time-”

“Easy,” Ronan said. “You’ve got time.”

He pointed out the windshield, and when Adam looked, they were facing St. Agnes. Ronan had driven him back. He looked back at Ronan. Ronan was watching him quietly, contemplatively chewing on his leather wristbands. Adam felt his chest tighten. He looked away.

“Go change,” Ronan said. “I’ll wait for you.”

Adam’s eyes snapped back up to meet Ronan’s, and he wondered if the other boy knew how much weight those words carried. Maybe he did. He hoped he did. 

Ronan was still in the parking lot when Adam came back down, freshly showered and dressed. The rain had lessened to a drizzle. Ronan threw his Aglionby jacket at Adam when he climbed in. The jacket had grass on it and some dirt from where it was tossed in the back seat, and Adam brushed it off. He didn't look at Ronan as he shrugged the jacket on, even as he could feel Ronan watching. 

"I'm gonna be late, Lynch," Adam said finally as the moment dragged on. He looked at Ronan out of the corner of his eyes, and sat still as Ronan reached across and plucked a leaf out of his hair.

"I don't think this is regulation," he said, handing Adam the leaf, with something like a smile playing at his mouth. 

Adam ducked his head and fiddled with the stem.

"It is at Cabeswater."

Ronan laughed at that and Adam let a smile spread across his face as Ronan put the car in drive and spun the tires as he pulled out. 

**After.**

His phone was buzzing in his ear. Jerking to consciousness, Ronan flailed around in bed, trying to find the damn phone. He grabbed it, squinted at the brightness of it, and read the caller ID:  _ Parrish _ . He answered.

"Ronan?" Adam's voice was gruff and sleepy on the other end.

"Dunno who else would be answering, unless Opal got her hands on it."

His laugh, rough and low.

"Don't even joke about that. She figures out how to call me, I'll never be able to rest again."

Ronan rolled on to his back, stared at the ceiling and smiled. Rearranged his features into a smirk, before remembering he was at the Barns and not Monmouth, and smiled again.

"Did I wake you?"

Ronan scratched idly at his chest as he answered.

"Nah."

"Liar."

Ronan grinned.

"Maybe. Wanna go for a drive?"

"Yeah," Adam said immediately, the eagerness in his tone made obvious only for Ronan, and he was desperate to hear that eagerness every time he asked Adam anything. The wanting gnawed at Ronan's heart like a less benevolent Opal, and he thought maybe he understood the hunger in Adam for everything. 

"Be there in fifteen."

"It's easily a twenty minute drive," Adam argued, for argument's sake. Ronan grinned.

"Then make it ten."

"Asshole," Adam said fondly.

.

Adam was sitting on the sidewalk under the statue of Mary, and Ronan had to appreciate the symbolism. He wondered if Adam realized it, and then dismissed the thought. He wondered if Adam realized how sleepy he looked, or how much Ronan wanted to tuck him close and never let him go. 

He put the car in park and rolled down the window.

"You gonna sit there all night?"

A smile passed across Adam's face as he stood up. The moon peered out from behind the clouds and Adam was suddenly bathed in the cool moonlight. Ronan swallowed.

Adam walked over to him, curled his fingers around the open window and leaned down to stick his head in the car.

"Depends on if you're joining me or not."

Ronan swallowed again, and decided looking at Adam's hands was easier than looking at Adam's face. The jury's still out on that decision.

"Get in the car, Parrish."

The look that flashed across Adam's eyes in time with the smile felt like a sin.

"Bossy."

Ronan didn’t keep track of the time as he drove and drove and drove. He didn’t need to, because time didn’t exist in this netherworld between night and day, when the only two people who existed were him and Adam, and when Adam was in his passenger seat and bathed in the orange glow of the interior lights. He changed gears flawlessly as he entered the highway, the bass of his music pounding offbeat to his heart.

His fingers flexed around the gear stick, and he felt the heat of Adam’s gaze land on his hand and drag up his arm until they are fixed on his face. Ronan swallowed. He wanted to pull over. He wanted to unbuckle and pull Adam across the console and into his lap. He wanted to kiss Adam, and then kiss his hands, and then-

“Have you dreamed about me?” Adam asked.

Ronan jerked on the wheel, nearly swerving. He steadied the car, both hands on the steering wheel, and stared straight out at the road. Has he dreamed about Adam.

“Have I dreamed about you,” he echoed. 

“That’s what I said.”

He nearly didn’t recognize Adam’s voice. Hesitation and uncertainty no longer colored nearly every word he said, and they didn’t even come into play with those last four words. Ronan squeezed the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. 

What a goddamn loaded question.  _ Have you dreamed about me _ , had Adam lost his mind, did he forget everything he ever knew about Ronan, of  _ course _ he dreamed about Adam. Why was he asking, what did he want to know, did he know- did he suspect. Ronan mulled the question over in his mind, remembered every dream he’d ever had about Adam, the ones where Adam tipped his head back, glowing in the sunlight, laughing so hard he cried. The ones where Adam sat sprawled across the front stairs of the double-wide, still and unhearing. The ones where Adam stood in Cabeswater and the trees seemed to bow around him and reach towards him, and fuck, if that wasn’t as close to seeing God as Ronan would ever get. The ones where Adam was bloodied and bleeding out in Ronan’s arm, or the ones where Adam leaned over him, the sun a halo behind his head, and he spread those wonderful, wonderful hands over the width and breadth of Ronan’s tattoo, and the ones where Ronan put his hands in Adam’s hair, and the ones where Adam sprawled in his bed, and the ones where Ronan put his mouth on Adam’s neck, and the ones where Adam put his hands in Ronan’s pants and on his heart, and the ones - 

Ronan pulled over.

Adam was moving before he even put the emergency brake on, unbuckling and clambering over the gearbox to land in Ronan’s lap. Ronan reached for him, both hands going around his waist and up his shirt and -  _ fuck,  _ yes, please, this was all Ronan ever needed or wanted from life, Adam in his lap and Adam in his hands and Adam on his mouth and 

“Yes, fuck, Adam, yes of course I dreamed about you,” Ronan gasped, groaned, confessed into Adam’s mouth. Adam took the words, tasted them, swallowed them. Ronan thought he could hear them going down. Adam pressed his hands under Ronan’s collar, into the beginnings of the tattoo.  _ Unguibus et rostro.  _ One hand curled around the back of his neck, and the other splayed across his collarbones, thumb pressing into the hollow of his throat to feel his pulse pounding there. 

“I dreamed about you tonight,” Adam said between kisses like a swear. He rocked in Ronan’s lap, kissed him again, pressed their foreheads together. “I had you in my bed, and I had you like this-” he slid his hand up until it pressed into the base of Ronan’s throat, not squeezing, just touching, while his other hand went between Ronan’s legs, and Ronan swore and pressed his face into Adam’s neck- “and then all I had was your unmade body.”

When Ronan swore again, it was not because Adam had kissed him or touched him, it was because he never wanted Adam to have a nightmare like that ever again and it wasn’t fucking fair that he had to watch Ronan die in his dreams. 

“Adam-”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t pick up,” Adam admitted to the crook of Ronan’s neck. Ronan dug his fingertips into muscle of Adam’s neck.

“Adam-”

“I needed to see you, make sure you’re okay.”

_ “Adam.”  _

They’d both stilled completely, holding each other as tightly as they could. Adam wept quietly, and Ronan cried noiselessly. Adam sniffed, wiped his eyes. Ronan cradled his head carefully in his hands. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve any of the shit he’d ever gone through. Why did God create this angel of a boy and send him through hell? It was Ronan’s right as a Catholic to rage at God. Adam didn’t deserve this, he thought fiercely, and wiped Adam’s eyes gently.

“Let’s go home,” Adam said softly, eyes shut as he leaned into Ronan’s touch. Ronan leaned forward, and kissed him gently.

“Let’s go home,” he agreed.

.

That night, Ronan had Adam in his bed, and Adam had Ronan in his hands, and splayed his hand over Ronan’s heart. He stared down at Ronan, something undefinable playing behind his eyes and then he leaned down to press his lips to Ronan's sternum. 

Ronan's brain short circuited. He thought he must feel how Chainsaw feels when he soothes her ruffled feathers with a single touch. He thought he must feel how Gansey must feel when he touches the back of Blue's neck. He thought he must feel-

Adam's touch made something in him  _ settle _ . He made Ronan's rusty, fuel-injected, eight cylinder heart that rattled around angrily in his chest calm to a contented purr. He filled up the space in Ronan's chest that felt hollow. He touched Ronan and didn't get cut, he snapped into places against Ronan's edges and made him feel like a real thing, he made Ronan whole, he made Ronan feel alive, he made Ronan  _ feel- _

He didn't know how to tell Adam that. He didn't think the words would come out. Instead, he could only stare up at Adam, eyes wide, lips split open and wordless, and  _ feel _ .

Ronan came with a wordless shout, arching into Adam’s hands, and when Adam followed near seconds later, he stilled, pressed his face into Ronan’s neck and didn’t make a sound. 

When they fell asleep, they did not dream.


End file.
